Sunday, March 22, 2009

Taunting Christians

You know, for Christians, the guys over at Christian Forums are actually more open-minded than I'd expected on a lot of subjects like masturbation, homosexuality, mental illness, and evolutionism. That just means their Faith isn't strong enough, though, right? It's a good thing there's still plenty of stupidity, though, because I'm not here to make fun of reasonable arguments.

Maybe your unfortunate series of bad life decisions is God's Will.

Sorry, God has better things to do.

By your logic, God is also pleased with mass murderers, child rapists, and Satanists.

You're right. God probably has you confused with someone else. Silly God.

God likes to play hard to get.

In the case of rape, the Infallible Word of God is just dead wrong.

Great advice! Just don't think about sex while you masturbate and you're all right.

Mark my words: 2012 is going to be the biggest non-event in history. Remember, you read it here first.

I think the Incans just got up to December 2012 and said, "Fuck it; that's far enough."

Wait, I greeted my grandmother with a kiss the other day! Now I have to marry her! It's God's Will!

I think when your life started falling apart around the same time you started doing drugs, you might be jumping to the wrong conclusion that it's all God's fault.

I love my fellow humans, but I doubt God considers these people humans, so it's all cool.

If God don't like it, we'll take Him down too.

It was a ball of lint, but I'll take whatever I can get.
This is a composite of a post and a response by the same person in the thread. I did it this way to save space.

One time, I thought my friend was possessed but it turns out she was really just pregnant. Boy was that a messy exorcism!

Glad that's settled. I guess your friend's just insane.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster also came down to earth in the form of a plate of spaghetti, which I ate.

Voting Republican.

Sorry God, your opinion doesn't count.

No blatant homophobia going on here at all.


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