Sunday, January 11, 2009

Revisiting The Metallica Forums

Metallica recently released a new album that looks like a gaping vagina. Although it was vastly superior to that repetative succession of toilet noises that was St. Anger, it still only inspired me to listen to other metal bands who have taken what Metallica used to do so well and improved drastically upon it. Still, as an excuse to put that barb to print, I decided to revisit the Metallica forums to gauge the fan reaction to the new album. Actually, I'm not even sure if this is the same forum I visited last time because there's about a billion of them, and they are all black. This is a Metallica forum at any rate, and they're all probably roughly the same.

Five years.


Whoops! Your brilliant plan backfired!


You don't even deserve to call yourself a Metallica fan! Get out of here, maggot; you disgust me!


It's because the last time they had anything to do with the Internet, they tried to shut it down.


Of course we've heard of Latvia. That's the place Doctor Doom is from.


Hahaha! . . . Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!


The guy in the lower left corner just starts
freaking the fuck out after the first minute.


Pump up the Volume (M/A/R/R/S)


You're not a big fan of Lars, but poor Kirk didn't even get honorable mention.


It just kind of falls out of James' cock when you need it.


I just had a frightening vision of the next
Beyoncé album.


"My name is Lars; let's form a band!"


Dear Metallica: Stop.

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