Sunday, December 07, 2008

Online Dating Guide, Part 16: I Am A Coward

Online dating can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it's more practical than actually going out in public to try to pick up a date because you never know what you're going to be getting with the random woman at the club or supermarket. Chances are better than not that there will be some wedge that will eventually tear the entire relationship apart.

Using an online profile, you can filter out a great many undesirable character traits before you even make contact with the alluring creature beckoning you from beyond her profile pictures. Unfortunately, the problem with this method is that you can find yourself determining that any relationship with the person automatically won't work based on any number of petty disqualifiers that would otherwise be overlooked if you already knew the person in real life.

Since this series has become popular for finding bad dating site profiles and pictures to ridicule, I thought this time I'd post the pictures of people whom I've actaully liked for one reason or another during the time I've spent on various dating sites. Unfortuantely, a lot of them have either found someone to live happily with, gave up trying, or died in a fire. Either way they're not around anymore, but I did manage to find a few profiles still in various states of active. So here is a small offering of girls I've actually found attractive during my searches over the years, and what petty, fickle excuse I came up with to justify never contacting them because I am a coward.

I couldn't find anything wrong with this girl except that she lives in Wisconsin, and I really didn't want to get into another long-distance relationship.


She looked too good to be interested in someone like me.


"Drugs: Sometimes"


All I remember is that while I was busy not messaging her, she changed her status to "seeing someone" and eventually deleted her profile.


She's looking for someone who lives in her area.


She describes herself as "spontaneous." That in itself wouldn't be enough to disqualify her, but I also think she's too attractive to be interested in me.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with her. I'm just that much of a pussy.


I was enthralled with this girl for an entire weekend. The age range she was looking for ended one year younger than I am, but I thought she might be able to overlook that. She was looking for someone only 15 miles from her town, but I live only double that, so it might still be able to work. However, when I read that her list of body styles didn't match what I'd consider myself, I decided that two strikes against me might be overlooked, but three is definitely too many.


I've saved my favorite for last. I've actually gone as far as leaving some random comments in her journal, but overall I know I'm not what she is looking for and ultimately she lives too far away to pursue anything anyway.


That is the story of my online dating experience. If the woman isn't totally ugly or a complete idiot, I'm still far too insecure to actually contact her.

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