Sunday, November 23, 2008


The Twilight movie opened this weekend to good box office numbers due to the fact that nearly the entire fanbase of the series are teen-aged girls who have to drag their parents or teen-aged boyfriends hoping for teen-aged sex to see the movie with them. In celebration of the success of this poorly-written, possibly Christian blight on vampire lore I found a forum to ridicule as best I can considering that I refuse to read or watch anything that has to do with Twilight other than the movie trailer and various critical reviews.

I'm sure they all felt just as awkward as you did once they found out that Twilight wasn't really a two-hour, all-out battle between Vin Diesel and The Rock.

Yes. By all accounts, the final movie is going to be nothing but hardcore porn.

Three more things they inexplicably left out that made me angry were Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo. In fact, I refuse to watch it until they see the error of their ways.

…Because it's Twilight?

People are wusses. People had the exact same reaction to the Transformers preview as soon as Michael Bay's name popped up, only that time it was far more justified.

Climax Entertainment Announces Twilight Porn - Twatlight.

This is what your country gets for killing the Jews back in the Forties. The Twlight movie is an integral part of the conspiracy.

No, it's not weird to think drinking blood is sexy. In fact, that is how
babby is formed.

A supermassive black hole would fit well with this entire movie.

Man, fuckin' sparkly guys get all the chicks. Us guys with hairy chests and beer guts can only score scary lookin' gay dudes.

This is why I don't like to see movies in the theater, because other people don't know when to shut the fuck up. Chuck bricks at them.


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