Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Month On Wall Street, A Retrospective

I feel good today. I think I'm going to look into buying some stock. Dum-te-dum-de-dum.

Oh shit! Sell! Sell! Sell! Sell! Sell!

Oh no! The DOW is falling and I don't understand why!

The steepest decline since the Great Depression? But... But I don't want to be poor!

Oh good. Whew! It seems to be stabilizing. Had me worried for a moment there.

Oh no! It's falling even worse than it did before! I'm going to die penniless and alone!

Well as long as the fundamentals of the economy are strong I guess I don't have anything to worry about.

Why is the DOW still dropping? I thought the fundamentals of the economy were strong. Oh well, better sell more stock.

BAIL OUT! BAIL OUT! BAIL OUT! WOO-HOO!

John McCain suspended his campaign. This has gotten serious.

Oh good, the problem will be solved by Monday.

Oh fucking shit. Way to go, Republicans.

Wait, did that really happen, or did they just replay Monday's ticker in reverse?

OH MY GOD!! THE ECONOMY IS BROKEN!! THE WORLD IS PLUMMETING INTO CHAOS!! GIANT BABIES ARE RISING FROM THE OCEAN DEPTHS TO DEVOUR ALL CIVILIZATION!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!

Oh. Looks like everything's fixed.

OH MY GOD!! THE GIANT BABIES AND THE EATING AND THE DYING!!!

Oh. Looks like everything's fixed.

No it's not.

Yes it is.

BOOOOO!!!!

YAAAAAY!!!!

BOOOOO!!!!

YAAAAAY!!!!

Boooooo.

Yaaaaay.

Boooooo.

Yaaaaay.

Boo.

Yay.

Meh.

Meh.

Meh.

Bang

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home