Sunday, October 05, 2008

The Craziest Black Man Ever Supports John McCain

I recently came across a LiveJournal community for Conservative furries. As much as this might boggle the mind, Conservatives and furries really do have more in common than you might think. For instance, there was a post about Sarah Palin hunting mice, and these people like to dress up as mice and have sex with each other. So the two go together like chocolate and peanut butter.

I was originally going to post excerpts from this community to mock, but it didn't take me long to come across a video of a man who absolutely fascinates me. He consistently makes less sense than Bill O'Reilly and talks like Jesse Jackson would if played by Sherman Hemsley, yet I can't stop watching his insane rants for sometimes upwards of ten minutes apiece. Forget YouTube videos of cats being weird. Forget the sounds deaf girls make during sex. Forget the constant assault on intelligence that is Yahoo!Answers. Reverend James David Manning has got to be the funniest thing ever uploaded to the Internet, ever. If you don't believe me, just take a look at the selected video clips below and tell me you disagree.

If the only kind of white woman that would take up with a black man was a trashy white woman, is he saying that black women are equally trashy or that black men just have incredibly low standards?


I got an idea. Let's call John McCain and tell him somebody's talking trash about his momma and see if he comes running to the phone.


I feel more sorry for Sarah Palin that she has to wake up every day knowing that she is going to look like a complete idiot on the news yet again, but I'm still not going to vote for her because of it.


Nigga gonna get his ass shot.


Urgent message for President Bill Clinton: YOUR WIFE IS A BIG WHORE!


Fortunately, the people who fear the great black uprising are also the same people who wouldn't give a shit about the political concerns of Ludacris.


Don't worry; God will take care of you. If there's one thing history has shown us, it's that there's nothing God loves more than mindless hatred and bearing false witness against your neighbors. Don't forget to tell your congregation that the crazy guy from the Internet told you to say so, too.


Can you imagine what this guy would sound like at the dinner table? Ordering a pizza? Having sex? I'd pay to hear him doing any of that talking like a Sesame Street monster on crack.


You heard it, folks. The McCain / Palin ticket is hotter than a concert put on by a dead man and one put on by an alleged child molestor. That's right, if you thought Katrina was bad, just wait to see what John McCain and Sarah Palin do. His own words, and this is coming from a guy who supports McCain and Palin.


The Jewish Holocaust could not happen; the Crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ could not happen; cyborgs coming back from the future to terminate the future leader of the human resistance could not happen; the rise of the Galactic Empire could not happen; the Serpent convincing Eve to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge could not happen without the signature of one Barack Hussein Obama.


And to think I wanted to make fun of furries.

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