Sunday, July 13, 2008

AdultSpace, Part 1

When a friend told me that MySpace now has a copycat version for adults, my reaction was naturally to rub my hands together saying, "Yeeesssssssss..." If there's one indisputable fact about the Internet, it's that anything on the Internet that has to do with sex is going to be populated by idiots.

Unfortunately, a lot of the profiles that looked the most promising were set to private, and there was no way in all of Hell I was going to join such a disgusting assortment of freaks, perverts, and morons just so I could gather a few more screencaps and view a few more naked pictures of hideously grotesque swingers. It would be like willingly allowing yourself to become one with The Blob, only The Blob in this analogy would be made out of cum, and full of deformities looking to sodomize you.

Here's a novel idea: you could fuck him.

Take it from me; in the world of publishing, being able to click the "submit" button is not that impressive of an accomplishment.

Here I thought you were going to say "i'm a real horny person and i love shoppin for cars!"

Oh you poor thing; I don't think you realize this isn't the type of dating site where normal people hook up.

Notice the "books" section is mysteriously lacking.

How about a guy who will show you a picture of his cock? No? Well how about a different guy who will also show you a picture of his cock?

You should probably see a psychiatrist about that.

Isn't that prejudice just a little hypocritical?

If you must say so yourself, there's usually a reason for it.

It's pretty much like being with your guy, only with a lot less emotion and probably a lot more grief.

Oh Christ. They're forming a hierarchy.

I'm happy to see our tax dollars put to good use.

Congratulations. You've discovered the ability to inflict actual physical harm to others over the Internet.


Blogger MrsMelvin said...

Gosh, they all seem so intelligent, have extensive vocabularies and perfect grammar! Now I must go torment them.

8:32 PM  
Blogger Blozor said...

Glad you're still reading. It was kind of hard finding profiles that had a unique problem. Most of them said the same things, and it got rather boring after a while. I didn't even touch on the number of people who listed "um... sex?" or "fucking, duh" under "Hobbies" as if they'd come up with something clever and original.

11:31 PM  

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