Sunday, June 15, 2008

Raining Judgment On Your Confessions

I'm glad my newest admitted reader MrsMelvin pointed out in one of her Blog posts. No matter how guilty you're feeling over something you've done, you can just read the tens of thousands of anonymous confessions posted here and realize how lucky you are that you are not among the world's most ignorant perverts.

I got on one knee and figured while I was down there, what the hell.

Your reputation as what? A straight chick? is not God.

I've got some bad news for you, and I don't even need to do an MRI to confirm it.

Only sick freaks have relationships.

Five years is such a huge gap to fill. When you were into Nirvana, he was getting into Foo Fighters. It'd never work.

You know how people encourage you to confess your perversions and no one is going to judge you? That is before you admitted you like fangled feet.

You can't escape Internet porn. Computers send it to you for free in your email. It comes up in Google search results for saddle shoes. You can either accept it for the absurd depravity that it is, or you can go insane trying to avoid it.

Yep, under "cheating" in the dictionary there'll be a picture of you spread eagle with a sign that reads, "Come on in!"

I always figured it was pretty cut-and-dry.

I don't know what that is, but it looks like it would hurt.

Threesome. It's life's little problem solver.

Nothing to worry about, then.

I think you've misunderstood the purpose of church camp.

Nah, you just got caught up in the spirit of Alabama and screwed the nearest sibling you could find.


Blogger MrsMelvin said...

You're welcome. :)

8:46 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home