Sunday, May 04, 2008

Two Crappy Singing Shows For The Price Of One

I'll admit I watched about ten minutes of Don't Forget The Lyrics once because it was on after whichever show I was watching at the time and one of the female contestants looked kinda hot. She turned out to be very annoying, though. I'm talking about the kind of annoying like an overexcited, yipping lap dog or a drunk cheerleader, where you have to suppress the nearly overwhelming urge to beat them in the head with a club and put everyone involved out of their misery. She was so annoying that not even Wayne Brady could make the show bearable, and I have to sheepishly admit that I like Wayne Brady. However, as annoying as this girl got, he not only did nothing to discourage her behavior, but he encouraged it. So after ten minutes of hearing the yipping lap dog yip, I couldn't watch anymore.

While going through the rather limited forums for Don't Forget The Lyrics I discovered that NBC has a similar show with an equally insipid title, The Singing Bee. Because what we need more than anything else is not just one, but two shows dedicated to spastic nutcases who can't sing. I have an idea for a show. It'll be called The Spelling Bee and it will award prizes based on something important like how well average people can spell average words and properly utilize an apostrophe. It probably wouldn't be as exciting as watching people sing badly, but it might make marketing executives a little more critical before approving 50-foot billboards rife with spelling errors.

Anyway, part of this week's forum raid is from the Don't Forget The Lyrics forum and the last four posts are from the Singing Bee forum. Why not kill both dumbass birds with one post? Meanwhile, I have an idea for an actual post, but I also have another sinus infection, so I can't guarantee I'll feel like writing the post before the week is over.

My crappy singing show can beat up your crappy singing show.

We'd better not let our crappy singing shows monopolize.

Yeah, because the last eight years has provided us with a wealth of relevant songs.

Hey! Stop insulting stupid people.

The subtext in this post is cavernous.

They are running the stupidest tyranny ever?

They can't both be great, but they can both suck. I think that is telling.

Congratulations. You've uncovered a conspiracy of colossal stupidity.

Did I miss the one where Kool-Aid Man hosted?

Or you could stop watching moronic game shows and get a life.

He looks like a giant rat, like Templeton from Charlotte's Web.

Justin Timberlake started out in a band? I thought he was just spawned from the loins of a demonic concubine in the middle of a toxic waste dump and raised by whiny gay men. Learn something every day.

Not only is it completely acceptable to act like you're better than *Nsync fans, it's pretty much an imperative.

Technically, if it's a competition for a prize, then it's a game show. Reality TV is more like Big Brother or The Real World, where a bunch of lazy people with no lives, who think they're better than they are, lounge around a house being boring. You know, just like you and your friends do in reality, only by watching it on television, you don't actually have to apply yourself to doing nothing all day.


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