Sunday, April 27, 2008

Deal Or No Duh

Remember back in fifth grade when Howie Mandel was funny? Somehow either we grew up and realized we didn't know shit for shit back in fifth grade, or Howie Mandel grew up and turned into a giant, bald-headed tool, but I hate the pseudo-game show Deal or No Deal. Combining my seething hatred for the show with the teeming masses of idiots who keep it on the air made for an insanely easy forum to ridicule this week.

Also, I would like to take this time to announce that I'm going to be cutting back my update schedule even more because I'm working my normal job and helping out at the store because I'm a big, giant retard and too nice for my own good, so I'm basically working seven days a week, which leaves me far less time and mental efficiency required to construct a quality post. Until a few more people who can pass a criminal background check submit applications, my update schedule is going to go from "weekly" to "sporadic," save for Sundays. Sorry.

If you're looking for a game show that takes no skill or strategy, this show's for you. The most difficult part is humoring Howie Mandel's ego.

How about Mambo #5?

There's no more reassuring a sign of a game show's success than resorting to promotional crossovers with other shows.

I think everyone on the show is only there for the show, and Howie probably usually just talks to the voices in his head.

That's what she said! *rimshot*

Your resistance only makes his coculator harder.

Layla, darling, won't you ease my worried mind?

Who names their daughter "Alike"? Seriously, I bet if she knew that name was in store for her, her mother would have miscarried when she killed herself as a fetus.

If I can't trust the Internet, who can I trust?

Apparently. The show seems to be pretty popular.

Dude, come on, that was Howie's mom.

Three things that make any show more exciting: car chases, explosions, and grizzly bears. Consider this.

A full hour of people randomly guessing numbers and Howie Mandel quoting from one of those books elementary school kids get with a title like "101 Inoffensive Jokes For Lame Banter With Boring People"? What's not to love?

Calm down there, Blue. People who don't watch shows they think are boring are what we call "smart people."

No, that would make it RULE OUTRIGHT!! Could you imagine Howie Mandel trying to corral a bunch of monkeys around the stage? That would be the greatest show ever.

Judging by your grammar, I'd wager it's because you find Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? somewhat intimidating.


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