Sunday, March 09, 2008

You Suck At Transformers, Part 3

IDW's search for the next Transformers artist has entered phase two. This is kind of like those shows like American Idol, only on American Idol a contestant can be rightfully voted off for quite possibly singing Queen's "Who Wants To Live Forever?" worse than Stephen Hawking, but in this competition they're allowed to keep shitting all over Transformers, submission after submission.

Again, here are the ground rules:
- Does the cover meet assignment requirements?

- Is the appropriate focus given to the spotlight character?

- Does the cover make you interested in buying the book to find out what happens inside?

- Is the cover eye-catching?
As last time, the page containing all the other entries is linked in the description preceding each entry group so you can see just how good or bad the other entries are, if you dare.

Doctor Arkeville has joined forces with the Decepticons, and he’ll settle for nothing less than the complete destruction of the Autobots. What secret weapon has he, Hook and Swindle devised that could spell the end for the Autobots, and what does it have to do with the Australian city of Sydney?

Only a truly mad scientist would make the Sydney Opera House barf all over a zoo.

I had to include this cover, though, because it kicks all ass.

Circuit Breaker is back and out for vengeance! Determined to destroy every last Transformer, Circuit Breaker may have just bitten off more than she can chew when she squares off against Motormaster and Razorclaw at Mount Rushmore. Who will come out on top? And who will never be the same again?

"Dude, what the fuck?! Get your foot off my head!"

The competition was fierce for this one, and by "fierce" I basically mean that every cover was equally lame. It was as difficult picking out the worst cover as it was to pick out a good cover. This was the best I came up with.

Set before the events of Infiltration,
Hunter O’Nion is following up on a lead he’s got on giant alien robots in San Francisco. Will he discover Powerglide and Seaspray’s secret? And if so, will he ever be the same again?

All of the entries for this one were so bad that I couldn't even pick out a good one, so I'm just going to post three examples of the worst ones instead.

When I say that there is nothing good about this, the idea of finding a giant robot romancing your girlfriend while another one pees on a forest is the least of what I'm talking about.

Dwayne Johnson must be so ashamed.

Marissa Faireborn, Beachcomber and Bluestreak are investigating a series of disappearances in the Canadian city of Vancouver in the summertime. What horrible secret will they uncover that could turn the whole world against the Autobots?

I'm going to do you all a favor and just get the only good submission out of the way first.

This only qualifies as "art" in the sense that it is not.

If you have to extend the deadline to produce this, do yourself a favor and give up art.

It looks like Björk is going to be the next celebrity to show up on Courtney Cox's new show D!rt.


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