Sunday, January 27, 2008

You Suck At Transformers, Part 1

Recently, the new publisher of the Transformers comic books held a fan art contest to design a cover for a spotlight character. I decided to check out the submissions being voted on, hoping for some good fan art. Unfortunately, what I found when I checked out each of the twenty-four links was appalling. There were only one or two good or passable submissions, and the rest were like some sort of weird, abstract art that Salvador Dali might have done when he was five. Now, I'm not saying that drawing Transformers is easy. It's not, that's why I generally don't, but if you know you can't compete in a competition like this, don't embarrass yourself by trying, right?

Anyway, I scoped each one of the submissions and about halfway through I realized that I should make a forum raid post where I comment on the worst or weirdest of each category. The first twelve will be this week, and the second will be next week. Keep in mind, the ones I chose may not be the worst artistically, sometimes I forewent that to comment on something weird I saw on a different one. The rules were simple enough:
-Pictures must allow room for all title mastheads and logos which appear on IDW's comics

-Character designs must general fit G1/IDW traditions. If you're assigned a character that exists in several continuities, default to G1/IDW. War Within-style design alterations are acceptable as well. Just ensure the characters are blatantly recognizable

-Finished pictures are to be inked line-art and “ready for color.”

- Does the cover meet assignment requirements?

- Is the appropriate focus given to the spotlight character?

- Does the cover make you interested in buying the book to find out what happens inside?

- Is the cover eye-catching?
With this in mind, it's amazing how many people failed to meet some or all of these guidelines to submit crap that would specifically make the average customer not want to buy the issue. I've linked to the voting page above each submission so you can view all the other submissions in the character category. . . If you dare!! Ha-ha-ha!!

Sureshot

Hey, remember when semi trailers where smaller than the cabs? Neither do I!

Brawn

"Hurr look! I has a stick!"

Quickmix

What the fuck even is this? No. Just, no.

Weirdwolf

This is like a page from a children's coloring book. One that was drawn by children. Retarded children. On Ritalin.

Drag Strip

Why is Windsweeper angrily pointing his gun at the empty ground? Probably the same reason why Downshift is sleeping and Drag Strip is sitting like a dreamy teen-aged girl.

Siren

"I'm not touching you! I'm not tooouuuching yooouuu!!"

Divebomb

He is such a happy bride.

Hoist

There are so many questions I could ask about this one, but I think it's pretty self-explanatory why an Autobot and a Decepticon are both watching a music video on a flatscreen TV in the middle of a jungle.

Onslaught

"We've destroyed four-fifths of the Earth, and now we're going to take over the moon! We'll crush anyone who stands in our way of total lunar domination!"

Gnaw

Worst. Ghostbusters. Ever.

Misfire

I must be sick; I'm seeing spots before my eyes.

Krok

He didn't even want to waste his money buying a scanner to dignify this piece of shit.

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