Sunday, December 09, 2007

Tickle Me Emo

Last week, I happened across an emo forum, and I knew it was too good an opportunity to pass up. What do emo kids have to talk about? Turns out, most of it is pretty boring, generally consisting of kids between the ages of thirteen and sixteen whining about their break-ups and their parents not understanding them. You know, the same problems every other teenager in the world has, except that they don't bring most other teenagers to cut themselves.

The line between being a truly depressed kid in dire need of therapy and one faking depression to fit a certain social circle or clamor for attention is a fine one indeed. However, the entire emo subculture makes people view depression like George W. Bush makes the rest of the world view America, as a sad, shameful satire of what it's supposed to be. If you're cutting yourself because you're truly depressed, then seek therapy. If you're cutting yourself because your friends all wear black and listen to Linkin Park and cut themselves too, then do everyone a favor: get some individual identity and stop whining on a web board about the same problems everyone else has like you're some sort of unique social victim. It just makes everyone else make fun of you and not take your problems seriously, and that only makes matters worse.

I emo you very, very much.

Awww… Gonna go write a song about it?

Is anyone really sure at first?

Hey! That's not how emos talk! Get out of Emo Corner, rap poser!

Desperation. Duh.

Call Chris Hansen and let him do the dumping for you.

Parents can be so prejudiced when it comes to which bandwagon their kids are allowed to jump on.

They just think I suddenly became an autistic Satanist!

Yes, but see, Jesus and Washington and Lincoln were important historical figures. A bunch of teenagers who shop at Hot Topic, well, aren't.

Hm. . .
Yeah, I think I can accept it. . .

Okay, you know you've been hanging out in emo forums too long when you start to feel yourself empathizing with an illiterate bunch of conformist teenagers with no real panoptic world view.

np: U2 - "All I Want Is You"


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