Sunday, December 02, 2007

Armchair Lenos

Say what you will about Jay Leno as a comedian, but he has one thing going for him that no other comedian has patented: funny headlines. Of course, the headlines are funny enough by themselves. I can just look at them, spot the error, and laugh. I don't need Jay Leno's diluted commentary that usually just consists of him reading the improper wording slightly more emphatically. I certainly don't need a bunch of Internet whack-jobs trying to outdo Jay Leno in the witty banter category. Whatever you think of Jay Leno, he is an acclaimed and licensed entertainer. The average Midwestern housewife and fifteen-year-old crackhead on the Internet, no matter how delusional they may be, are not.

I decided to just take selections from the latest entry on the site. Probably the eeriest thing was that a sense of community has come to form out of the chaos that had originally abound when an unmoderated comment section was first introduced to the feature. Although the people responding tended to share a sense of familiarity with each other, and they'd weeded out a lot of the really weird, miscellaneous commenters, they still proved weird enough themselves to supply me with at least a few selections with which to make today's post.

No, it's not like getting a No-Prize. . .


Congratulations, you get junk mail.


Yeah, proper spelling isn't nearly as important to some as it is to others.


No such luck on this sentence either.


I even attached an olive to the end of it with a toothpick and everything. Women can be so weird!


Ew.


Her Safety Board investigation fetishes are insatiable.


I thought the Muppets took Manhattan. . .


Whenever these comments don't make any sense, I just assume the commenter is a retard hopped up on airplane glue.


You're just making that up.


Whoa. Dude. That started out as an endorsement and quickly deteriorated into an unsettling confession.


I remember that episode!


It's a good thing you documented your funeral arrangements somewhere your family will be sure to find it should the need ever arise.

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