Friday, November 16, 2007

Neighborgeddon: Close Your Windows, Moron

I actually talked to my neighbor a while back. I noticed he was enclosing his back patio where his dogs go to poop and apparently bark at it, non-stop, all day long.

I got the sense that he was nicer and a bit more approachable than I'd previously suspected him, but he is no less of an idiot. He is a flagrant racist, and one can't deny the hammer and bucket of roofing tar that is still to this day on his roof leaving glaring, orange outlines on the shingles. He also name-drops all of these important city leaders who get haircuts from him, but I don't know how much of that he's making up because I never see anyone in his shop, and most of the things he says they say are quotes straight from the newspaper or local news. Plus, my dad also knows a lot of these people, as in: went to school with them or worked with them, and they aren't like this guy is describing, so it makes him seem dubious. Also, none of them sport his signature hair-do. In fact, almost no one in the area does. I have to wonder how he stays in business.

In talking to him, he said that he was putting up the walls to keep the noise down because he didn't want his dogs disturbing the neighborhood (i.e., me). He went on and on about how much money he was putting into it, but he made the mistake of putting three windows in it. Now I don't know what dogs that might stand three feet tall on their hind legs need with windows five feet up on the wall in the first place, but when one builds an enclosure to keep the noise inside a room, the last thing you'd think one would want to do, then, is open the windows. Screens do nothing to muffle a dog's bark. You just spent all that money and accomplished absolutely nothing toward your objective. Close your windows, moron.

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