Sunday, September 30, 2007

AOL Forums Are Full Of Fail

There was never a time when AOL was the greatest Internet service provider, but there was a time when it was practically the only Internet service provider available to the average home user. Back then, AOL's chat rooms and forums were flooded with thousands of naïve, new Internet users looking to score risky sex with transsexuals or lose a lot of money in real estate scams, either endeavor being full of nothing but fail and AIDS.

Ten years later, thanks to advances in broadband Internet capabilities that AOL has yet to fully embrace, the average user can connect to the Internet with nothing more than the Internet browser already included in any basic operating system package. We've already proven that it doesn't make the average Internet user any more knowledgeable, worldly, adept, or civilized than they were ten years ago, but it does mean that, much like our oceans, AOL's forums are a hollowed-out ghost town of their former voluminous glory. Since pretty much every single webpage dedicated to every single possible interest has a forum of its own, there just isn't very much of a use for generalized AOL forums anymore. AOL has wisely decided to combat diminishing interest with slow page loading and no real moderation at all so more than half the thread topics are nothing more than superfluous spam.

The bad news is that there aren't a great deal of actual topics by real users available in the AOL forums anymore. The good news is that most of what is left are teenagers and people who are too insecure to have left AOL yet. Most of these following screencaps I've chopped off due to vertical length, so you'll have to click on them to open the full post.

Fuck ten; "MEMPHIS0923" only needs one spot on his list of life goals.

Sorry, no one cares about your Billy Idol obsession.


That's right; zombies are basically just scary retards.

The Man Who Uses Newspaper As Toilet Paper, produced by Wes Craven, directed by Rob Zombie, coming to a theater near you this Halloween.

You can be scared of more than one thing, so you can be scared of bees, too, if it's that important to you.

Irony just said "Fuck it" and stormed out of the room.

I think you should bark at them.

I hear they go great with escalators. . . Too soon?

I think you just got the best possible answer to your question.

np: Faith No More - "Ashes To Ashes"


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