Sunday, August 26, 2007

Online Dating Guide, Part 12: This Is Why You Never Get Messages

This is a great example of why parents should always have their children do everything for them that involves the computer or the Internet.

Finally, here we get to see a picture of her actual face...

Seriously, a face block? Wouldn't we need to be able to see your faces clearly for that to be necessary?

She's part of the dope show...

The eyes are the windows to the soul. People speak volumes with their eyes, so you need to be careful what message you're conveying. For instance, this girl is expressing the enthusiasm of a deep psychosis:

Here she can be seen in a candid shot, rising up to bite your nose off your face:

Since this woman was by all indication looking for an extra-marital affair, I feel no remorse in stating the following: No one wants to see your unremarkable 40-year-old ass in some of the most unflattering panties mankind could ever conceive, especially when you look like you could be Sylvester Stallone's mom.

HELP! I'M TRIPPING ON SOME BAD STUFF!! I--Oh, wait, whew, it's just a bad Photoshop.

Guys, if you've ever wanted to fuck a chick who looks exactly like Marilyn Manson, then you're an even bigger freak than he is.

That's OK, all they look at are your breasts anyway.

I think your computer's angry at you.

Finally, a cool chick. The caption says it all, and I bet every one of you ladies who owns one of these will wish you thought of it first:


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