Monday, July 09, 2007

Seizing The Day

I wrote this as a comment on someone's OKCupid journal this past Saturday when she asked for ideas of things to do to make 07/07/07 memorable, and I thought it was good enough a list to reprint here even if the day had already passed. The first one I lifted from Adam Pogoff's Listoff blog; it was too funny to not suggest to the poor girl.

- Try to drink your pants through a straw.

- Set up a bank account for your dog.

- Rock in.

- Discover a means of travelling through time but never use it because you simultaneously discover an irrational fear of possibly meeting Ethel Merman.

- Write a letter to your Congressman; ask him how he's doing.

- Argue that the price of your soda is too low and insist that they take more money.

- Tell me all your thoughts on God because I'd really like to meet Her.

- Go to Burger King; insist they serve you pizza and beer.

- Make cookies out of dark matter.

- Kill Bill.

- Eat at Joe's.

- Take the necessary steps to ensure that you win the Lottery.

- Kidnap a gnat.

- Hold the most intelligent and meaningful conversation of your life with a gnu.

- Go cow-tipping -- tip each cow at least 15% of the bill.

- Go to a grocery store and ask them what the fuck is up with all the food because you wanted to buy some groceries.

- Develop a deadpan sense of smell.

- Perfect your Colonel Klink impression and talk like him all day to see how many people ask you what the hell you're doing.

- Burst into fits of laughter at random intervals.

- Buy out United Airlines and fire all the jets.

- Write a Broadway Musical about one man's burgeoning love for his tape dispenser.

- Panic all day long.

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