Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fan Reviews Of Transformers, Part 2

You're right. Van Helsing had a better story, a better plot, and better characterization. As sad as that is.

"If Ebert likes it, it's gonna suck." Wait, Ebert liked this movie! Then that means. . . Oh shi—

"The characters were portrayed well, even better than G1 in some cases." Except for the majority who had few to no lines, the lack of focus on them as characters, and their improper amount of screen time, they were portrayed really well.

Because those are two different words.

The movie was unreal? You mean, like fiction? Oh thank God, what a relief!

The Internet didn't exist in 1977, and guess what: People still picked apart the Star Wars movies. The Internet just makes it easier to compare notes.

Somehow I think you started out just a tad biased. Your review is automatically disqualified.

What kinds of morons would give a standing ovation to a movie? The kinds who live in Wichita, it seems. Your review is automatically disqualified, too, on the grounds that you're all idiots.

You truthfully did have to force yourself to like it?

Wait, the Team Valium theater? You didn't possibly think I would let that one go, did you? That sounds like the world's most ineffective superhero group. Maybe no one else was clapping at first because your clapping woke them up.


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