Sunday, July 22, 2007

Fan Reviews Of Transformers, Part 1

So the Transformers movie has been out for a few weeks now, and the reviews have had ample time to pour in. Enough time, in fact, for it to move from a 72% Freshness rating on RottenTomatoes on the night I first saw it, to a modest 56% rating, and I assume it'll only get worse from there. Once more people start figuring out that a movie is bad, it generally doesn't get a sudden upward thrust of artistic merit. I made no secret of my thoughts on the movie, which you can read here if you're having trouble trying to fall asleep, but let's see what some of the die hard Transformers fans with lower expectations for things like plot, story, characterization, and continuity in their movies have to say.

Yes, I thoroughly agree with this review. . . Wait, are we talking about the same movie? Was "Bumblebee" the nickname of John McClane's daughter?

No, that would have just been cheesy. But how do you really ruin a movie that's already so bad?

War! Huh! What is it good for? Layoffs, apparently.

PRIME: "So, Sam, when are you going to poop in her mouth?"

Um, I don't think you saw the right movie.

Transformers might as well have been called "Die Easy."

Sorry, wouldn't want to insult the dude.

I'm not. I'm ashamed just for having watched it. I'm ashamed that it was even made.

So I take it you couldn't quite label it "orgasmic."

If it had only been Martin Lawrence or 50 Cent instead, black people could go back to having some form of dignity.


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