Saturday, April 07, 2007

My Base Pay Is $666,666! I'm Not Evil!

When your business is taking a fiery nosedive of George W. Bush proportion directly into the ground, I think the most important thing you can do is be sure to pay your CEO as much money as possible while laying off your factory workers. I mean, hey, this guy didn't get to be CEO of Ford by refusing to man a manufacturing plant all by himself, right? Oh, wait, no, he got to be CEO of Ford by leaving Boeing. My bad.

Here's the main problem I have with this situation: Who needs all that money? Seriously. What the fuck is this guy ever going to do with $28 million? And if he can't find a way to spend that much money, what's he going to do with the $84 million he's going to be getting at the end of the year if $28 million is only for four months of work? That's the thing — no one person needs all that money. At that point, it just becomes money for money's sake. You're just in a pissing match with your peers, but honestly you don't need it. Not at the expense of your middle class wage earners who are working too hard for too little money to support your company and try, sometimes unsuccessfully, to pay their bills. Oh, and then you fire over 30,000 of them to ensure that you can continue making $7 million a month. Classy. Of course, what can you expect from a guy who was offered a base salary of $666,667, (I'm sure rounded up to the nearest whole dollar), and said "I'll take it!" with that disconcerting chessire grin.

Apparently a lot of people agreed with my position that no single person needs to earn more than the gross national product of over forty countries. I love how the
poll results broke down. Out of 39,891 people who took the CNN poll by th time of this writing, these were the results, with my own analysis included:
  • Appropriate pay for his job: 2% — This would be him and his family issuing multiple votes until they lose interest.
  • Appropriate if he can turn Ford around: 19% — This would be his peers from various other companies, because they're making much the same.
  • Inappropriate no matter what he does: 78% — This would be the rest of the population who don't grow boners at the thought of zeroes separated by commas.
  • Not sure: 1% — These are the people who thought the article was the most boring porn story they've ever read.
At least Bill Ford had turned down receiving pay, bonus or stock grants until the company returned to profitability. That is a bold move that proclaims that he knows he doesn't need to rend tens of millions of dollars per year from the blood, sweat and tears being poured into a failing business. This Mulally guy wants none of that noise, though. He's made it clear from the start that he's only in it for the money.

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