Friday, February 16, 2007

Snake Compatibility

Congratulations, you're a Snake. You are wise and intense, analytical and cunning, with a penchant for beauty. You are probably more agile than some of the other signs, particularly when horizontal. You enjoy curling up, talking naked women into eating apples, and sticking your tongue out at things. Here is how you rate in compatibility with the various other signs:

Snake and Rat:
Compatible and could enjoy a largely successful partnership in law, politics, corporations, or the Mafia.

Snake and Ox:
Since the average resolute bovine is not disconcerted by the sudden appearance of the snake, or much else, really, they tend to coexist quite favorably.

Snake and Tiger:
Cannot trust each other. The Tiger will think the Snake is a fun string to bat, and the Snake will, in turn, bite the Tiger. In the neck.

Snake and Rabbit:
Snakes eat Rabbits. This could actually be pretty advantageous if the Rabbit in question is female.

Snake and Dragon:
Since a Dragon is nothing but a really big, imaginary, fire-breathing Snake with legs, they should be able relate fairly well.

Snake and Snake:
Good understanding of each other's nature. No fucking duh.

Snake and Horse:
The Horse will be spooked by the Snake and trample it to death. The Horse should also avoid those born in the Year of the Stick.

Snake and Sheep:
The appearance of a Snake might frighten the timid Sheep, which will in turn frighten the entire flock, and before you know it: stampede.

Snake and Monkey:
To a Monkey, the Snake is essentially a long, bendy club. The Monkey will likely wave the Snake over its head while screaming, or beat another Monkey over the head with it while masturbating.

Snake and Rooster:
This is the Snake's highest compatible sign. This is so that guys born in the Year of the Snake have to admit that they're looking for a Cock.

Snake and Dog:
OMGWTFisthisbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!!!!! Bark.

Snake and Boar:
The boar is your nemesis sign. If you try to combine, you will break out in an annoying rash, and then burst into flames.

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